Wednesday, 14 April 2010

The Stevens 666 bomb detector extra wowee supreme extraordinare

My Righteous Indignation cohost, Marsh, recently reported how he had tried to find more information on the ADE651 - a woo bomb detector that is basically just a dowsing rod that is given to troops to try and help them detect bombs. It's crazy and you can read more about Marsh's discovery as he tried to find out if they are still on sale or not after the CEO of the company selling them was taken to court on possible fraud charges on the Merseyside skeptics site or by listening to Ep. 43 of Righteous Indignation.

now my opinion of this whole fiasco is that if people are going to let bullshit continue to rule and it is going to endanger people just as the continue of sell of these magic bomb detectors will, then it should be done in style.

Thus, I present 'The Stevens 666 bomb detector extra wowee supreme extraordinare.'


Yes, that's right - it looks like a hand, doesn't it?

Well that's because it is a hand. Acutally.

YET the wonderful thing about 'The Stevens 666 bomb detector extra wowee supreme extraordinare' is that no purchase is necessay because (not counting amputation, paralysis or tragic deformity) you have two hands of your own.

It gets even better though because it's simply a two step procedure involved with 'The Stevens 666 bomb detector extra wowee supreme extraordinare.'


Step one - Curl your chosen 'Stevens 666 bomb detector extra wowee supreme extraordinare' into a fist except for your index finger which you should point directly outwards away from your body with your arm extended out in front of you as demonstrated in the picture below.

caution: Children should not be left unattended with 'The Stevens 666 bomb detector extra wowee supreme extraordinare' whilst in the hunt for explosives/weapons as this will most definetely result in injury and/or death. Children should also not be used to man checkpoints in war zones because they're lazy and can't be trusted.

Step two - Once you have 'The Stevens 666 bomb detector extra wowee supreme extraordinare' set up in accordance with step one (above) then point it at the row of vehicles/people saying "Ip. Dip. Sky. Blue. It. Is. Not. You. Not. Because. You're. Dirty. Not. Because. You're. Clean. My. Mum. Says. You're. The. Fairy. Queen" making sure to move your hand to each individual vehicle/person with each word. Whichever one your hand lands on once the words above have been recited is the fucker with the weapons/bomb/evil stuff and everyone else should be allowed to go on their way. Simple as that really*


 *Caution: All use of 'The Stevens 666 bomb detector extra wowee supreme extraordinare' will result in death. If not your own then the death of other innocent people that you may never have met. Possibly on their own or possibly in their masses. If not immediately then it will do in time. The good thing is though that 'The Stevens 666 bomb detector extra wowee supreme extraordinare' wont charge your government lots and lots of money for a device that actually does little more than 'The Stevens 666 bomb detector extra wowee supreme extraordinare' which is actually just your hand and a bit of guess work.

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